It‘s been two weeks now since we arrived in Selati training camp. Two fantastic weeks. The number of wonderful animals and plants we have seen and the loads of information we were given by our trainers have made it a unique experience already.
But it was also a stressful week. There is so much to learn and it feels as if there is so little time to learn it in.


One thing is becoming clear to me. I want to visit Africa more often and I want to continue my support to wildlife conservation in some way or the other. I think I owe it to my daughter and future generations to try and do something for the wellbeing of the planet.
Because even out here in the wilderness of Selati Game Reserve, things are not right. If I thought that this area would be one of the last pieces of unspoilt nature where everything is still in balance, I thought completely wrong.
Trophy hunting is still big in this area. Culling is seen as a necessity for conservation of the bio-diversity. And fences block free movement of wildlife. 
If we want to change things and do serious wildlife conservation, we need to find solutions for all these things. 
Trophy hunting is a mindset. Sick people, that kill for fun. We need more and more people who judge this as a mental decease in order to change this. But as with Apartheid, it is a very slow process. Here in the area, the older Boer families still cling to their traditions. The first born son is called after the grandfather, and a boy that did not shoot his first Antelope by the age of 10 will never be a real man. All totally wrong, but if generation upon generation see this as normal, it takes time to change it. And besides, if the wealth and income of the family comes from breeding Antelope specifically for trophy hunters to shoot these animals, then how are you going to convince them that this is wrong and they need to give up their livelihood in favour of opening up their land for normal wildlife?
A probably even more difficult problem is that of returning the wildlife balance to where culling is not needed. Here, the mindset change is even more difficult probably, because although people in Europe and America may get upset when they hear that elephant are being culled, the actual culling of animals is widely accepted as “normal”. No German will think twice about the seasonal shooting of deer and wild bore that is needed to keep them from over-populating an area.
But what if we get all people to object to culling? Many wildlife species migrate over huge distances. And for what I can see here in the area where I am now, there simply are no parks with enough space for the migration of larger populations of elephant. Or some of the other species. I’m not sure (yet, still learning), but even the greater Kruger area would probably be way too small for an elephant population of e.g. the 1950’s. 
And again, if we would try to create such a large untouched area, we would need to convince all landowners in the wider area to tear down their fences and open their land for wildlife. Which in some cases would mean giving up their current livelihood.


Can governments and the larger wildlife conservation organisations help here?
Of course they can. And they are. The latter are working hard on getting the first to implement laws and regulations that set a framework for the necessary changes. But it is slow. When you find a killed rhino and inform the local civil servants, and their first reaction is „what are you going to do with the meat?“, you know that wildlife conservation is not their top priority, if they understand the necessity at all.


All in all, it is an extremely complex topic, even if you are considering it for just one larger area in one country. But one country is not enough. Long term, we must create large areas of undisturbed nature where everything is in its natural balance. And that means areas that go across borders. A huge task.
But unless we want our children, grandchildren and their children to live in a world where breathing is only possible through an oxygen mask and animals can only be seen in zoos, we have to work on it.

Most people don’t understand.
They already try to tie me down, bring me back.
“Have you thought about what you do when you come back?”
“Have you informed people you will be available for work from middle of August?”
“Did you discuss if you can go back to Stada when you return?”
They do not see there is a mindset process going on inside me that made me decide to go to Africa in the first place, but doesn’t stop there.
It sometimes makes me wonder if it is good to come back at all. Quite possibly, I would be sure about not coming back if it wasn’t for the only person in the world I truly and unconditionally love, my daughter.
Time will tell how my inner self decides. 

It is a process one goes through pretty much alone. And probably a reason why so many people in a similar situation back out. But backing out, I think, is no option. That would be lying to oneself. Hiding forever that you really do not want to be in the situation you're in, leading the life you're living.
I think that in time, those people who do not understand right now will see what it was all about. And that everything will work out perfectly fine for everyone.
And I'm hoping that seeing that will help others to make the choices that are right for them, but which they are afraid to make at the moment.